Hi Everyone,
Happy New Year! Yes, I know it has been a (long) while since my last blog. But, hey, it is a new year, so expect more! Half of the reason for the delay was timing. The other half is “because,” which is my only answer. (I began this blog on Friday November 13, 2015.) Just as a head’s up, there is a reason that this blog is 2,327 words. Here is my first blog of the year.
Sometimes life just has a way of us deciding what is truly important. That also means there a lot of times when I (just) don’t care. This is what I mean.
While waiting for a store to open, (and yes, I still hate shopping,) I walked to a popular Canadian coffee shop. Standing outside was a self-appointed Doorman. I could hear him comment to people as they entered and exited.
With a cold wind blowing on my bladder and two medium coffees screaming to escape, I thought, “Shyster,” as I hurried past him. If anyone saw me dart past the line of people waiting for their morning fix, no one spoke to me, to or from the Ladies room. I don’t care that a few customers saw me without a coffee. They are strangers. They don’t know that I’ll be getting a few hours sleep before I start my day again.
When I reached a table in the front, I tucked myself into the corner. As I pulled out my book, I noticed that I had a text. A friend of mine received tragic news and was leaving as soon as time would allow.
The text said that one very young life has taken his last breath. In less than 24 hours, another life would be taken off of life support. How does one reply to a text like that? I don’t know, but I do care about my friend and everyone involved. What happened was truly tragic.
Standing a few feet away I can hear the Doorman trying to hustle everyone who passes him. After he gives the Disability button a light punch, he turns to me with a smile and says, “It’s getting cold out there.” Then he rubbed his palms together in my direction. At the moment my full attention is on my friends needs, not his. In a stiff voice I said, “Well, it’s only going to get colder.” It wasn’t the reply he was hoping for.
Unlike my friends’ needs and the two lost lives I was thinking of, his ass is still on this side of the grass. He is still breathing. Countless people with greater obstacles than, perhaps, his, have changed their lives for the better in months, if not weeks. He wants to hear that and my back-story as much as I want to hear his.
After I reply to the text I begin reading a great book with just the kind of back-story I need. Every few minutes I look up. Wow, the Doorman doubles as a self-appointed Busboy too. Interesting. For a split second, I wondered, “Just how much money has he hustled into his “tip” cup.” Then I realized that I don’t care. Back to the back-story, back to my book. Before I leave for a cigarette, I check the time. Great, I still have over 40 minutes before the store opens. It is so cold; I power smoke my cigarette and race back to the bathroom. On my way back, I see that the same table in the front is still available.
Everything, my handbag, that I am ready to set on the table, my weekend bag I am about to place on the floor and more importantly, my half-seated bottom freeze in mid-air when I hear, “That’s my chair!” The Doorman/Busboy apparently also has dibbs on the front table. Not cool.
Lacking patience I hurry to the other side of the table. Once there, in a semi-hostile manner, I place my belongings on the exact opposite side of the table and centre myself directly in front of his standing frame. Our non-verbal exchange says more in seconds than words ever could. Breaking our eye contact, he shakes his head. I reach for my book and read until five minutes before the store opens. The self appointed Doorman/Busboy, fulltime shyster left a few minutes ago. Before anyone thinks that I am as cold as the wind that previously blew on my bladder, I am not. And I am not alone. (For anyone who does not believe me, then I suggest you read about the new book in today’s Metro newspaper. It is called, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*$%: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do, by Sarah Knight. When I read the article I thought, “What perfect timing! I edited this blog last night. Now I won’t come off as being bitchie! Someone else wrote a whole book on how I feel”)
Because I still hate shopping, I am relieved, yet cautious when I see my favourite salesperson. She is so amazing that I always feel comfortable when I see her. But as we all (should) know, amazing salespeople have a way of getting us to spend more than we need or want to. I was a willing participant the last time. Today will be different though. Payday is tomorrow and the balance in the only account my debit card has access to should be enough for only what I need. And it is on sale! Ka-Ching! I love saving money. 🙂
Two police officers enter as I am steps from the door. I, like everyone else in the store, want to know what is going on. As I wander back towards the cash register, the police officers know what I am doing, but I don’t care. One of them says that a local store was robbed. Go figure. With my curiousity filled I walk across the street to a shopping mall. There I order a sandwich and clearly state, several times, that I want extra butter.
As I wait, I see an employee make what looks like my sandwich. Instead of extra butter they are putting on mayonnaise. After I confirm it is my order and tell them that I ordered extra butter, they storm over to the cashier. Voices are raised. The cashier already has enough problems. If he didn’t push the right button because he didn’t know where it was that’s a problem. If he pushed the wrong button in a hurry, that too is a problem. Or if he tried to mess with my head by trying to push my buttons because he has other problems, he failed. I just don’t care about the why’s, how’s or whatever’s. Even if the other employee is busting his balls, I am not going to. I politely put a stop to their yelling. With a new sandwich, I find a place to eat. Then I head to my favourite store where there are always sales galore.
Mmmm. I spot a pair of Pencil Pants hanging in the wrong section. An employee points me to a rack where I am hoping to find my size. I do and they fit perfectly. Will someone think I am a mutton dressed like a lamb? Probably. But I don’t care. Not only do I feel and look decades younger than I am, a lot of people think so too. Days before my last birthday, someone enthusiastically said, (in front of people about half my age,) that when he saw me walking he thought I was a teenager because, according to him, I looked like one. And really how could I not?
My curly mane was blowing in the warm summer breeze. Over-sized sunglasses partially covered my face. A snug T-shirt with sequins shaped in a heart matched one of the two colours of my skinny jeans perfectly. The black in my jeans, solid black leather knapsack and black peek-a-boo heels, (with the perfect amount of toe cleavage) completed my look. It was youth, fun and the love of life. So do I care that more than one person may think I dress decades younger than I am? No. I don’t care. Life is for the living.
Although the line for the register moves along quicker than expected, I still have time to work out the tax. Even if my calculations are off by a dime, I still don’t have enough money in my bank account. I will have to pay cash. Yikes! I am superstitious and always want to have a certain amount of money in my wallet. If I buy these Pencil Pants, I won’t have that certain amount. I don’t care. I don’t need these pants. I want them! And I know the difference between needs and wants. To H-E double hockey sticks with superstitions. I buy the pants, head home and sleep for 3 hours.
Hours after I restart my day, I receive an opportunity and I grab it. Sleep will again be at a minimum but I don’t care. If there is one thing I know about myself, it is that I don’t need a lot of sleep in order to function.
Let’s flash forward one week.
I am standing in line behind a woman who is returning some things. The transaction is taking longer than it should. The woman asks the cashier if she can cancel her transaction in order to ring in my items. When I tell them that I am okay with waiting, they give me a strange, yet surprised look. That prompts me to say, “One of my friends has left for a funeral. There was a car accident last week where two young men lost their lives.” The woman asks me something. As I reply, her body language changes from surprise to sadness. She tells me that the accident I am speaking of has been”all over” the news. Everyone she knows has been talking about the tragedy. And it was, and still to this day is, a tragedy.
The accident I am talking about happened on October 7, 2015. That was the day that Carstyn Tremblett lost his very young life of just four months. The next day, less than 24 hours later, his father was taken off of life support. Two young lives were stripped of their chance to live their life to the fullest, all because someone made a small, rash decision.
Mark Cuban says, “It’s always the little decisions that have the greatest impact.” I am betting a lot of us have been coming to complete stops at stop signs and driving more carefully since the reasons of that accident have been so highly publicized. If not then, well….
“So you see why I don’t care. In the whole scheme of things, my waiting a few more minutes in line is nothing. Take your time. Really,” I said. What is anyone going to say to me or anyone after that? Nothing because what can anyone say? Life has a strange way of stopping us in our tracks and teaching us what is truly important.
The point of today’s blog is four-fold.
Firstly, as surprising as it may seem to some, the world does not revolve around you. With the other seven billion plus people on this planet, the needs of others will come before yours more than you would like. If you can’t see that, then you can’t see past your eye-lids. You are choosing not to see the bigger picture. That also means that a lot of people just don’t care about people when they selfishly (negatively) affect the lives of others.
Secondly, it is more than okay to look, feel and to a certain degree, act younger than you truly are. Life is for the living and we should all live our lives to the fullest. There will always be one or more people who will share their (unasked) opinions about you, me and someone named Dee.
Thirdly, there are lots of opportunities out there for each of us. All we have to do is find, and then grab them. People do it all the time. The Doorman/Busboy figured out how to increase his economic position. I, like many others, choose to do so in other ways, without proper sleep for a night or two. We all have the opportunity to make choices every day, or every hour. Remember the quote from above? “It is the little decisions that have the greatest impact,” says Mark Cuban. What I would like to add, is that all decisions start off little.
Lastly, and most-importantly, not everyone is going to like the choices that you or I make. That is a fact of life. Another fact of life is that because we are all given the opportunity of choice, we are all given the right to or not to care. For anyone who hasn’t already figured it out, there are so many things not worth caring about. When people selfishly act recklessly at the expense of others because their emotions are, like them, out of control sometimes I don’t care about someone’s unreasonable reasoning. I care about how we, as a society should address their behaviour.
Everyone has the right to live a long, happy and fulfilling life. Unfortunately there are some people who will always put, or in some cases force, their needs at the expense of others. If someone, due to no fault, reason of their own, is already having a hard time, do we really need to make their lives more difficult? My answer is no.
This blog has been in the works for a months. If someone doesn’t like it, they probably won’t like the following blogs either. As I am sure some of you have already guessed, I just don’t care what a lot of people think!
Thank you for reading, A. Rebel’s Rant! ;D
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