The F Bomb

Hi Everyone,

As I mentioned in an early blog, this year started off quite well. Then as the months continued it seems as though every time I complete something, something else that needs my immediate attention will be forced upon me. And you know that is true because when people are expecting a large income tax refund and they file their taxes in mid-August, there is a reason. They had more important, pressing things to do.

One of neighbours commented on my not being outside as much as last year. I told her, “With everything going on, I’ve been LOCKED in my apartment! For all the things that I MUST do to get me to where I want and need to go in life, I can’t sit outside, read and take detailed notes at the same time.” And it’s true. I need laser like focus. There is a lot at stake, personally and professionally.

I am constantly taking notes. Just yesterday as I was doing my errands and STUFF, I stopped to take notes on two separate matters. Later that day, I was reading more documents and taking more detailed notes, revising my previous ones. I haven’t read anything that I’ve wanted since I was on set, the only day I got to read a book, something I wanted to read but haven’t opened since.

When people on set asked me what I was up to because they haven’t seen as much this year as last, I told them that I’ve had to either turn work down, or not reply to booking notices because of everything going on in my life.

I am so stressed that I usually wake up before 3 am and usually stay awake all day. Some mornings, like this morning, I woke up before 3 am, stayed awake until just after 6 am, had a nap and woke up around 8 am. Now I don’t know if anyone reading knows what lack of sleep does to them, but I don’t function as well as I should. I’m watching a lot of Big Brother After Dark though. Actually, I’m watching a lot of what I consider to be mindless TV because my brain is generally FRIED by 6:30 pm. I am also emotionally drained.

If you knew what I am going through and have learned since I started “this”, your brain and emotions would be too. And when I blog about some of the things that I’ve learned, you should be shocked! Some readers will probably wonder what took me so long to drop an F Bomb or two as I have only began to swear in my blogs. If you knew me personally, then you would know that in real life, I do in fact swear. Will I continue to swear in my blogs? I don’t know. If my dropping the F Bomb has upset some people, I am sorry.

Thank you for reading, A. Rebel’s Rant! ;D

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