Hi Everyone,
The first time I read the book, Deal Breakers, with the subtitle, When to Work on a Relationship and to Walk Away, by Dr. Bethany Marshall was in October 2009. This year, as part of my birth and name day reading, meaning books that I read every year around my birth and name day, I decided to read it again. This is EXACTLY why.
There has always been one dealer breaker that has prevented me from getting back with my Ex. When we started talking on the telephone again, I thought we had got past it. Then as our conversations continued, I thought I’d have another one, so my Deal Breaker #2. That one revolves around my being who I need to be. Like being a writer and being on set. After a few conversations, I was pretty confident that both Deal Breakers #1 and #2 were taken care of. He understood my need to follow my passion, as he has followed his. He told me his two deal breakers and we discussed them. One is my smoking cigarettes. My thinking was cool! We can now move forward.
BUT, BUT, as time went on and our conversations continued even after we established our Deal Breakers with each other, my Deal Breaker #1 started creeping in again. I decided to dismiss The Red Flags when they started waving. The reason for that was because I didn’t separate the fact that we were once a happy couple and that time had passed. I didn’t take into account that we should have been starting on the at ground floor which in my mind we weren’t. In my mind, we were starting on the tenth floor of a twenty story building!
At some point while reading, Deal Breakers, I began noticing some of the things my Ex has been doing that refer to Deal Breaker #1 or let’s say CHOSEN TO PUSH ME TOO FAR!!! That’s when I realized something about Deal Breaker #1. Not only did it separate us before, it is what has kept me from meeting him in the months that we have been speaking on the telephone, but it was always going to be a part of our relationship. I can’t live that way with ANYONE.
If I did I wouldn’t be true to who I am. I wouldn’t become the person I am in the process of becoming. When my Ex called I told him in a civilized manner. Sure I shed a few tears. It was sad. It was the eve of my birthday. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, hence my lack of blogs. Honestly, if ANY of what I have and am still going through happened last year, I’d be an emotional WREAK!!!! How I’ve kept everything together is beyond my comprehension, but I am very thankful!
And to tell you another truth, I’m thankful that I realized that Deal Breaker #1 will always be there. It is time that I stopped working on a relationship and began walking away. And for anyone who has been paying attention, the last sentence is a version of the subtitle to the book, Deal Breakers.
One thing that I would have liked to put in my pre-nuptial agreement provided I meet Mr. Wonderful was something about my Ex. I tried speaking to him about it after my birth and name, but there seems to be a bit of, let’s say “confusion” about what he told me in the past from what I remember him telling me. Not only is that not going in a pre-nup, my Ex is on his own for that one FOREVER!!! We are DONE like dinner!
The message of this blog is to stand your ground. If you see any Red Flags waving pay attention! Everyone makes decisions every day, but the biggest decision we SHOULD make is staying true to ourselves. We deserve it!
For anyone who would like to read related blogs on this topic I have provided some links.
Pre And Post-Nuptials Anyone, http://arebelsrant.com/pre-and-post-nuptials-anyone/
Meal Ticket Taste Anyone, http://arebelsrant.com/meal-ticket-taste-anyone/
It’s Called GREAT Sex! http://arebelsrant.com/its-called-great-sex/ This one has 6 links to previous blogs.
I Would Do Anything For Love, http://arebelsrant.com/i-would-do-anything-for-love-but/
People Aren’t Disposable, http://arebelsrant.com/people-arent-disposable/
Thank you for reading, A. Rebel’s Rant! ;D
by 
by