Hi Everyone,
For anyone who reads my blog on a regular or even semi-regular basis, then they would know that things haven’t exactly been perfect lately. In my opinion, I’ve managed pretty well until last week that is. This is what I mean.
One day last week, I began to, again, question my sanity. From all of the things that I have learned in the last few months, last week had me seriously asking myself if I am a train wreck or in the process of becoming one. That’s a scary thought for anyone to have by the way when they must do things outside of their comfort zone. But then I got to thinking, that if anyone knew what I now know, and how what I now know has gravely affected my life, than they too would be suffering from insomnia, sleeping for only a few hours, and waking up at all hours of the night.
And they too would be stressed out which for me means lack of appetite. I have lost weight again. Just for the record, I have also begun consuming a bit more alcohol than I probably should. Alcohol has been the only way for me to stay sane. If you knew what I know, you’d be drinking (more) too! Since I chose to be drug free, alcohol is my “drug” of choice.
Some days I am running my butt off, not eating properly and losing weight. While other days, I lock myself in my room eating, reading things that disgust me beyond belief and regaining the weight I lost the day before! Part of me liked it better when I didn’t know as much as I do now. But then again, that is exactly why things have worked out the way they have. Ignorance is bliss, and bliss is folly! Yes, that is the full saying so if anyone was wondering, I did not make it up.
So am I a train wreck? If I am, I am a HIGHLY functioning one. You should see me work those toll free numbers at the pay phones while I wait to see people. Since no one uses the pay phones and some of them have long and clean ledges, I simply lay out anything I am working on and take notes as I wait on hold. It took me a while but I can now retain and take notes of what I read as I stand at bus stops, sit on buses, subways, and trains. Granted some days are better than others, but that is life everyone.
Here are some links to past blogs,
Dealing With Disappointment, http://arebelsrant.com/dealing-with-disappointment/
Never Complain. Never Explain. http://arebelsrant.com/never-complain-never-explain/
How Do You Deal With Life, http://arebelsrant.com/how-do-you-deal-with-life/
King, Prince and Peasant, http://arebelsrant.com/king-prince-and-peasant/
I Had A Melt-Up, http://arebelsrant.com/i-had-a-melt-up/
Thank you for reading, A. Rebel’s Rant! ;D
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